Wassuuuuup y’all?

I just read the Charlatan. You know, I just read it, like, three days ago, and saw that, one of the editors had to write stuff in the Voicebox and stuff, because people weren’t calling. Yeah, so I’m just calling, to say wassup.

Yeeeeeah. Wassup.

Should be sleeping or something, it’s 12:42, at night. You know, Wednesday night, Tuesday morning.

Peace.

BLEEP!

Hi Voicebox. Uh, just callin’ in to say that, all of this stuff about Haiti, I’m kind of disgusted by it. You know, anyone who’s actually kept an eye out there knew that there were lots of issues to deal with beforehand and I’m getting really sick of people actually caring when something dramatic happens.

I don’t know, I’m just one of these people who think you know, if you weren’t doing something beforehand when they needed you why the fuck are you just doing it now?

Like, really think about it. There’s lots of issues around the world and you only show up when a bunch of people die suddenly? You would just let them die slowly instead? Like really, come on guys. Get your ass in gear.

That’s just a real perspective.

Bye.

BLEEP!

Dear Voicebox,

You forgot to change the date on the newspaper on the page with the Voicebox on it. So, yeah, how’d you do that?

C’mon people, get your act together!

BLEEP!

My friend called and I don’t know what he said and we’re really drunk. Please don’t make him look bad. Bye.

BLEEP!

Hi. I just wanted to send a message to the two German people sitting at the bar at Mike’s Place last week. Thanks a lot for unplugging my laptop and making me lose all of my work.

That was verykind of you. Bye.

BLEEP!

Hi. Ummm, I’m calling at about nine in the morning because I think it would be great if you guys actually cover the Carleton cricket team once in awhile.

I mean we’re doing great, well done here. And we have a tournament going on. And it would be awesome if you guys actually covered that.

Umm yeah, I mean [something indescernible] would be great. Bye.

BLEEP!

Yeah, I’m continuing from the cricket team playing. Uh, the tournament happens about every Saturday or Sunday — well, the days actually change around a lot — but in the morning, 10-12.

And you guys — you should cover that.

I mean, cricket is a really great sport.

It is! It’s uh . . .

And there are people laughing at me right now.

OK, have a good day.

BLEEP!

Hey Voicebox. I just have a message for someone:

D, I love you.

I’ve loved you since I was 13. I only went out with him because you were dating some girl and I decided I wasn’t worth you. Now all I can think of is that if we do somehow work out, as unlikely as it seems right now, we will have some amazing love story.

BLEEP!